When we were babies, most of us experienced sensual pleasures of holding and being held – hugs. Our mothers knew what science later proved, being hugged is a crucial developmental aspect of becoming a whole person.



As we approach puberty sensuality evolves into sexuality. Many of us experience self-pleasure, usually described by that evil sounding word “masturbation.” Self-pleasure may reflect a certain amount of self-esteem, curiosity, or self-worth. It’s the starting point for progressing to a higher calling.



We often begin to hook-up, partner-up, and expand our desire for pleasure with others – often centering on self.  Before we know it, sex is all we think about. It can consume our mental, physical, and social activities. The single focus on self often leads to toxic relationships, ghosting, and gas lighting.  What was once pleasurable can become painful.


At some point, we may wake-up and question our values, goals, and boundaries.  If and when that happens, our focus shifts to self-care and self-love. Once full of self-love, the real “climax” comes when we love ourselves enough to love others. We learn that the concerns of our partner(s) are more important than those of ourselves. Then sex is love in action.


Rich Meyer, Blogger & Author.